scruta

Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Chat Including Self-Loathing

[Ferret sits down with his old companion, Self-Loathing.]

Ferret

So. It looks like it’s just you and me.

Self-Loathing

Yeah.

Ferret

Do you want something to drink?

Self-Loathing

No, and I’m sure you don’t either.

Ferret

Yeah. I don’t feel like I want to do anything when you are around. Especially write. Everything I write becomes some thinly veiled slight against myself.

Self-Loathing

Yeah, I have that effect on people.

Ferret

Well, that’s awesome. I guess it’s good to know that you make a difference.

Self-Loathing

Believe it or not, I too go home at night and feel worthless. I mean, I’m great at my job, but my job consists in making people feel bad about themselves.

Ferret

Yeah. I can see that. I mean, if you are an exceptional garbage man, you still are going to be knee deep in peoples rotting banana peels and used condoms for the rest of your life.

Self-Loathing

Yeah.

Ferret

So what could you have done? I mean, if you weren’t so busy making people hate themselves.

Self-Loathing

I probably would have gone into the marketing.

Ferret

I could see that. Of course, I wouldn’t feel bad about going into marketing. Most people I know who go into that really don’t feel like they are contributing much either.

Self-Loathing

Yeah, that’s probably my influence. But you see, I would totally work to promote the efforts of good companies or individuals.

Ferret

Face it. There’s no way you could do that even if you tried.

Self-Loathing

You bastard.

Ferret

Fight fire with fire. You know? You’re the one who’s prevented me from feeling good about my writing for so long.

Self-Loathing

So?

Ferret

Listen. I’ve got a question for you.

Self-Loathing

Shoot.

Ferret

If you loathe self-loathing, does that mean you’re able to eradicate it?

Self-Loathing

No. In my expert opinion, it just makes me able to stay longer. A feedback loop. If I find you are raving at yourself in the mirror at 2 in the AM about how you wish you could feel better about yourself, that means I’m doing my job. When you wake up the next day, I’m going to be there.

Ferret

Mmph. Well, how about this: What if I were able to project you onto something somehow, like extricate myself from the way I feel so I could see the reality of my situation. That way I could sort of compartmentalize it and analyze all the stuff you say to me.

Self-Loathing

And how would you do that? By personifying me or something? Hmm… I guess. Whoa. Shit.

Ferret

Got you now, bastard. You’ve been keeping me me from writing a post for almost a month, but I got you.

Self-Loathing

Yeah, but will anyone actually read this? I mean, if you post this and nobody reads it, isn’t that basically the same as you not writing it at all? Besides, nobody likes reading something that is such a downer, anyway. Even though I convinced you that the one about the marketing meeting for www.skeletalduckorgy.com was bullshit, or the oh-so populist rant about income inequality between the Western guy on his laptop and the construction workers all huddled together in a tent. What readers you do have for your meager project in cyberspace will most likely be turned off after reading this.

Ferret

God, I hate you.

posted by ferret at 7:04 pm  

1 Comment »

  1. I read it.

    Comment by mark a. young — March 28, 2009 @ 2:25 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment


five + 4 =

Powered by WordPress