scruta

Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Soft Opening

[Ferret is at the opening of a new bar. He’s had a few free drinks and he’s talking with Northern Polecat.]

Ferret

So have they stopped giving away free booze?

Northern Polecat

I’m not sure yet, but I think they’ve got to cut it off soon.

Ferret

Yeah, the freeloaders are out in force now.

Northern Polecat

Plus they’ve still got to make it to the real opening.

Ferret

Oh? This is the soft opening?

Northern Polecat

Yeah.

Ferret

Well, they’ll start charging soon, and then everyone will get the fuck out.

Northern Polecat

That’s the thing though, isn’t it?

Ferret

What is?

Northern Polecat

When they’ll get the fuck out?

Ferret

You’re right. You know, I wonder: Is it possible that that’s part of the game. I mean, for a real soft opening. Like they just started charging everyone without telling them.

Northern Polecat

What like the mafia or something? Giant guys in suits suddenly materializing and telling everyone that you had to pay for your drinks?

Ferret

Maybe. I think it would be better if it were more like a game. I mean, everyone knew that they’d be charged at some point, and they’d be okay with it if they were. But it would just be this tension. Wait! Even better: Let’s say you had a bar that gave away free drinks only some of the time, like on a giant wheel of fortune or something. That exhilaration of trying to beat the system. At any minute that free drink in your hand could no longer be free. Would people want to drink that way?

Northern Polecat

Maybe.

Ferret

More than maybe.

Northern Polecat

It’s not very relaxing.

Ferret

Neither are flashing lights and loud music with bass so loud causes your heart to palpitate. It’s done. The bar will be called The Gambit. This is a ground floor opportunity. Are you in?

posted by ferret at 12:46 am  

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