Li and Zhou: Inevitability
[Li walks in on Friday morning and sees Zhou reading the newspaper and smoking a cigarette, sitting on top of Roy, who’s transformed into a toilet.]
Li
What the hell?
Zhou
I couldn’t wait. This really is nice porcelain.
Roy
Thanks, Zhou.
Li
You shouldn’t have done it, Zhou. Nobody has gotten back to me yet. We could be in a lot of trouble.
Zhou
Li, I think that this is what they wanted us to do all along.
Li
You mean we weren’t supposed to teach this thing Maoist thought? We were only supposed to shit inside of it?! You think that that’s what the Propaganda Committee had us pegged for when they gave us this walking toilet?!
Zhou
Calm down, Li. Don’t be so crass. It’s comfortable, and very good for the environment. We should consider ourselves lucky that we were the ones who got to try this out first.
Li
Anhui! The peasant life! I long for it a lot these days.
Zhou
You won’t when you feel how great this porcelain feels.
Li
Roy?
Roy
Yes, Li?
Li
How do you… you know… clean yourself?
Roy
I go to the bathroom like everyone else, silly!
Li
So. We shit inside of you, then you go and shit in a normal toilet?
Roy
Yes!
Li
Kill me. Just kill me, Zhou.