Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Bagels on the Tracks

There are a dozen bagels strewn across the tracks leading through a subway station.

What if some man lost his mind over a distressing phone call and, in a fit of rage, hurled them off the platform?

What if that distressing phone call was from an irate wife, her voice becoming more nasal the more incensed she became, complaining that bagels were not what she wanted, but rather croissants?

What if the wife was so preoccupied with bread products because she was attempting, unconsciously to drive her relationship to a breaking point, a result of her guilty personality ( highly correlated with her sky blue eyes), to atone for the on-going affair she has been having with the neighbor next door?

What if the next door neighbor, bored to death, the former co-owner of a bagel store taken from him forcibly by his ex-wife (the other co-owner) only engaged in this affair to get back at his ex-wife, posting videos of himself fucking his neighbor after she sent him pictures of herself naked in the Caribbean with a new Don Juan?

What if, spurred on by his overwhelming hatred of his ex-wife, the neighbor went back to his bagel shop surreptitiously and filled a batch of bagels with a heavy, explosive diarrhea-inducing laxative?


Would it be such a bad thing that these bagels ended up strewn across the tracks of a metro station?

posted by ferret at 9:49 pm  

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