scruta

Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Clubby Decadence Runs Into Problems

GOPHER

Hey boss.

BIG BOSS

What whatie?

GOPHER

Umm…

BIG BOSS

It means “what” in hip hop language.

GOPHER

Right rightie.

BIG BOSS

You can’t say that.

GOPHER

Why not?

BIG BOSS

You just can’t. I don’t know. It’s just what whatie.

GOPHER

Ok.

BIG BOSS

So what is it?

GOPHER

Well, we’re having trouble with the toilets.

BIG BOSS

What do you mean?

GOPHER

Well, the distributor said that the order is too small for them to do the gold plating at that price. He wants another 10,000RMB.

BIG BOSS

Pay it.

GOPHER

Okay, but the thing is if we do that then we are going to have to divert some of the funds away from the rest of the bathroom.

BIG BOSS

Well, like what?

GOPHER

Well, I was thinking maybe we could lose the two way mirrors on the doors to the bathroom.

BIG BOSS

No way, that shit is so important.

GOPHER

Well, at this point it’s either that or the sinks.

BIG BOSS

Well, then no sinks in the bathroom.

GOPHER

Well, we already installed the sinks.

BIG BOSS

This is bullshit! Who authorized this and came up in my shit?

GOPHER

You did.

BIG BOSS

Shit. But did you talk to foreign douche putting up the money?

GOPHER

Yeah, the foreign douche says that he won’t give us anymore.

BIG BOSS

Did you explain to him the importance of this for the concept? That this is going to be the tightest bling bling bust a move shake your ass booty boucing spot in all of Shanghai? Look it. The idea is that you can go in there and get a massive gold blumpkin from your shortie. Shit on gold! And then look out and see all the suckers who wish they could be shitting on gold and getting blown at the same time.. You get it man?

GOPHER

What’s a shortie? Like dick or something?

BIG BOSS

Nevermind.

GOPHER

Well, anyway, I just don’t think we have the funds for it. Otherwise we are going to have to loose the fake replica guillotine for chopping open the bub bubbly and spraying it on the dancers.

BIG BOSS

[Sighs.]

Just say bub.

GOPHER

Chill dog.

BIG BOSS

It’s boss.

GOPHER

Boss bossie.

BIG BOSS

Just leave and buy regular doors. I want those gold toilets. Real golden showers, you know?

GOPHER

I know those things are expensive.

BIG BOSS

[Sighs again]

Just go.

posted by ferret at 10:06 pm  

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