Clubby Decadence Runs Into Problems
GOPHER
Hey boss.
BIG BOSS
What whatie?
GOPHER
Umm…
BIG BOSS
It means “what” in hip hop language.
GOPHER
Right rightie.
BIG BOSS
You can’t say that.
GOPHER
Why not?
BIG BOSS
You just can’t. I don’t know. It’s just what whatie.
GOPHER
Ok.
BIG BOSS
So what is it?
GOPHER
Well, we’re having trouble with the toilets.
BIG BOSS
What do you mean?
GOPHER
Well, the distributor said that the order is too small for them to do the gold plating at that price. He wants another 10,000RMB.
BIG BOSS
Pay it.
GOPHER
Okay, but the thing is if we do that then we are going to have to divert some of the funds away from the rest of the bathroom.
BIG BOSS
Well, like what?
GOPHER
Well, I was thinking maybe we could lose the two way mirrors on the doors to the bathroom.
BIG BOSS
No way, that shit is so important.
GOPHER
Well, at this point it’s either that or the sinks.
BIG BOSS
Well, then no sinks in the bathroom.
GOPHER
Well, we already installed the sinks.
BIG BOSS
This is bullshit! Who authorized this and came up in my shit?
GOPHER
You did.
BIG BOSS
Shit. But did you talk to foreign douche putting up the money?
GOPHER
Yeah, the foreign douche says that he won’t give us anymore.
BIG BOSS
Did you explain to him the importance of this for the concept? That this is going to be the tightest bling bling bust a move shake your ass booty boucing spot in all of Shanghai? Look it. The idea is that you can go in there and get a massive gold blumpkin from your shortie. Shit on gold! And then look out and see all the suckers who wish they could be shitting on gold and getting blown at the same time.. You get it man?
GOPHER
What’s a shortie? Like dick or something?
BIG BOSS
Nevermind.
GOPHER
Well, anyway, I just don’t think we have the funds for it. Otherwise we are going to have to loose the fake replica guillotine for chopping open the bub bubbly and spraying it on the dancers.
BIG BOSS
[Sighs.]
Just say bub.
GOPHER
Chill dog.
BIG BOSS
It’s boss.
GOPHER
Boss bossie.
BIG BOSS
Just leave and buy regular doors. I want those gold toilets. Real golden showers, you know?
GOPHER
I know those things are expensive.
BIG BOSS
[Sighs again]
Just go.