scruta

Schizoforeignic – adj. acting as if afflicted by an acute psychosis due to being a foreigner in a strange land, unsure of where one belongs

[Ferret walks outside of a music bar. He’s upset. He just played a set of his original music, and the crowd remained nonplussed. In fact, so much so that you could hear the cute bartender at the back of the room rapping her nails on the bar it was so quiet. They had all expected AC/DC and Guns ‘n’ Roses, and all they got was quirky indie folk. He sighs. A Beggar working the door of the bar comes up to him begging.]

Beggar

[shoving a cup in Ferret‘s direction]

The money. Hey, the money. Money-a.

[Ferret ignores him, but the Beggar continues:]

Beggar

好朋友阿! The money! 老朋友!

Hey buddy! The money! Old pal!

Ferret

You know, man, I just don’t get it sometimes. I feel like it’s just crazy being here. Like for the kind of music I play I should be back in America or something. I don’t know why I stay here. I get so lonely, you know?

Beggar

哎? 一块. 朋友, 给我一块吧!

Huh? One kuai. Give me one kuai!

Ferret

It’s like… I don’t know why I came to China sometimes, you know? It doesn’t make any sense to me, but still I stay. It keeps giving me reasons to stay, and I keep taking them because I don’t see any better option. But how long can I keep this up? How long? I’ll never be Chinese, you know?

Beggar

你在去另外的酒吧吗?

Are you going to another bar?

Ferret

我不知道. 我这个酒吧的人不喜欢我.

I don’t know. The people here don’t like me.

Beggar

你会去. 你们外国人喜欢去酒吧, 对吗?

You’ll go. All you foreigners like to go to bars, don’t you?

Ferret

I don’t know, man. I just don’t know.

Beggar

哎, 朋友, 你给我一块钱吗?

Hey, buddy, you’ll give me a kuai, right?

Ferret

Man, do you know what I should do? If I should stay in China or not? This is driving me crazy.

[The Beggar gets tired of dealing with Ferret and waits for another bargoer to come out. Ferret waits for a moment, sighs, walks to the street and hails a cab.]