scruta

When faced with two clear courses of action – the right one which will make me happy, and the wrong one which I know will make me unhappy – why do I choose the one which will make me unhappy?

For me, it is a fear of the unknown, the horror of Happiness and Risk.

Happiness is a woman. She is earnest, but her memory is poor. She forgets the details of anything that happens to her almost immediately. She lives life in the present, but unbeknown to herself, her impact on the future is greater than she realizes.

Her lover is Risk. He’s her soul mate, her male opposite. He is also earnest, but his memory is also poor. He sees things only in the moment, but his actions impact the future profoundly.

Sometimes these two are incredibly happy, strolling through the halls of my mind, greeting the residents of its various chambers as they come out to admire the stately couple. Risk is treating Happiness well.

Other times these two fight, throwing chairs and bellowing at the top of their lungs. The residents of my mind barricade themselves in their chambers, refusing to come out even during the greatest of emergencies. Risk has betrayed happiness.

For a long time, I shut both of them from my mind, not wishing that they should disturb my thoughts. But my mind became a dark and dreary place, and all of its residents were sluggish and unsmiling.

I knew before long I must let these two wander the halls again.

And now I am ready to let them. I’m filled with new hope.

Why you ask?

I remember the forgetfulness of Happiness and Risk. Even if times are hard, neither of them will remember these trials, these betrayals of the past. And just like them, neither should I.