scruta

Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Li and Zhou: … and Roy?

[Zhou sits in his office at the start of the day, staring at something with his back to the door. Li rushes in late, and addresses Zhou:]

Li

I’m sorry I’m late today, Zhou. My bus broke down and I had to wait for another.

[Zhou doesn’t respond.]

Li

Look it. I’m sorry, Zhou. Really. What is it?

[Li looks over at what Zhou is looking at. He sees a humanoid robot over in the corner, surrounded by a team of foreign engineers chattering away in German.]

Li

What is it? What’s going on?

Zhou

Haven’t you seen all those ads at the bus stations?

Li

What? For the robot? Ray?

Zhou

Roy.

Li

Oh, right. Roy.

Zhou

That’s him.

Li

Well, what is he doing here?

Zhou

A bunch of government officials and military guys showed up earlier and said we were supposed to look after him.

Li

Us? Why the hell would we look after it? Him? I guess it is pretty manish.

Zhou

Yeah, no boobs.

Li

But Zhou! We work in propaganda! What do we know about robotics? What if it breaks down?

Zhou

That’s what the Germans are for.

Li

We don’t speak German, Zhou! We can’t even speak English.

Zhou

Don’t worry. They speak Chinese… kind of.

[A GERMAN ENGINEER sees that LI has arrived, comes over and greets him:]

German Engineer

HELLO! Very happy!

Li

[not amused]

Hello.

[The GERMAN ENGINEER smiles foolishly and walks back to dote on the robot.]

Li

I should have stayed in Anhui with the peasants.

Zhou

Don’t say that, Li. This will be fun.

Li

Fun? What are we supposed to do? Teach it Marxist theory?

Zhou

How did you know?

Li

Are you out of your mind?

Zhou

I’m serious! The military and government guys told me that’s what we were supposed to do. Apparently they want the robot to be well cultured in the ways of Communism in order to deal with any potential conflicts during the Expo.

Li

We’re doing propaganda for a robot.

Zhou

Not just any robot, Li. A Chinese, communist robot. The first of many, no doubt.

[ROY walks over to them with the GERMAN ENGINEERS hovering around him like satellites. He begins to speak to LI and ZHOU in robotic Chinese:]

ROY

Hello. Please tell me about the rise of the proletariat, and the defense of our homeland from the capitalist imperialists from the West!

posted by ferret at 11:55 am  

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