scruta

Either you are sorting it out, or you are full of it.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Waitress Needed (招聘:服务员(女))

[FERRET and WEASEL are sitting, waiting to get a seat at a small, yet well known hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Shanghai. WEASEL starts gawking through the window at a waitress working in the restaurant next door.]

WEASEL

Man, she’s not bad.

FERRET

Mmm. The one in the red checkered dress thingy?

WEASEL

Yeah. But, damn girl. You’re only workin’ for 1500RMB a month! [1500RMB = approximately $220]

FERRET

What are you talking about?

WEASEL

Look at the sign in the window!

[FERRET and WEASEL begin to inspect a sign placed in the window. It reads:

招聘

服务员(女)

月薪1500元

包吃 包住

有服务经验1600元

Wanted

Waitstaff (Female)

Monthly Salary 1500RMB

Includes room and board

1600RMB if you have experience ]

FERRET

Well, at least she gets free room and board.

WEASEL

Yeah, that’s true. Hmm… and that extra 100RMB for experience.

FERRET

Yeah.

WEASEL

She’s looking at us now.

FERRET

Yeah, a deer in the headlights.

[FERRET imagines they’ve been having this conversation:]

THE GIRL

那个老外在盯我啊!

Those foreigners are looking at me.

WAITRESS

他们在找女朋友,而且觉得你好性感哦!

They’re looking for girlfriends, and they think you’re damn sexy.

THE GIRL

他们工资多少?

How much money do they make?

WAITRESS

他们是年青的,所以只是一百万。

They’re young, so only a million.

THE GIRL

没有。他们有那么多钱的话,为什么去旁边吃饭?

No way. If they had that much money, why are they going next door to eat?

WAITRESS

旁边餐厅很有名。

The restaurant next door is famous.

THE GIRL

没有这么有名。

Not that famous.

WAITRESS

哈哈,他们在看着招聘。

Haha, they’re looking at the job listing.

[THE WAITRESS notices that THE GIRL isn’t listening.]

干吗?

What are you doing?

THE GIRL

他们很有钱,可是他们的脸有寂寞的样子。

They have lots of money, but they’ve got this lonely look on their faces.

[THE GIRL looks at them, fascinated as FERRET and WEASEL discuss the sign, unsure of what to make of them. Suddenly, they are looking at her looking at them. Her co-worker urges her on.]

WAITRESS

交男朋友吧!

Get yourself a boyfriend!

[THE GIRL is confused and doesn’t know what to do. A deer in the headlights.]

posted by ferret at 10:02 pm  

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